Decade of Diabetes

I don't mind talking about my diabetes. I actually enjoy answering random questions from people and telling my diagnosis story. I take every chance I can to educate people about the difference between Type One and Type Two Diabetes (THEY ARE NOT THE SAME, PEOPLE). My best friend gave me the nickname Sugar Free back in junior high, and it's stuck with me this far. I laugh at all the jokes that people crack about diabetes, because they can be seriously hilarious. Type One Diabetes has become a huge part of who I am, and I'm okay with that. But every now and then, someone will ask me if it's hard to live with diabetes, and that's when I don't like talking about it.

Having diabetes isn't easy. As much as I laugh about it, diabetes really is a serious thing and not taking care of it can have a lot of costly consequences. Having Type One Diabetes puts you at risk for high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, blindness, ect. More often than not, it's an uphill battle. Of course, I have my little victories from time to time, but that doesn't mean I get to just stop fighting. I do so much work to not be sick, but I get zero recognition for that. Yeah, sure, an insulin pump is really great and helps a lot, but it's not a cure. I could do everything right, but my sugar could still be ridiculously out of range. Saying that it can be frustrating is a huge understatement. People question what I'm doing "wrong" to not be in control of my diabetes. My parents worry about me way more than any parents should have to. And I sometimes get to a point where I don't want to do it anymore. It's exhausting and I feel trapped in my own body.

Yes, it can hurt when I poke my fingers.
Yes, it's annoying to have an insulin pump connected to me 24/7.
Yes, it's a pain to have so many doctors.
Yes, it could kill me.
Yes, I am going to be this way for the rest of my life.
Yes, it's scary.

But, I am so loved and cared for, that none of that really matters. We all have crosses to bear, and maybe mine is annoyingly heavy from time to time, but I have a beautiful family and some really amazing friends that come out of the crowd to help me carry it. I am so ridiculously blessed that most days diabetes doesn't phase me at all, and thank God for that. But on those not so great days, I have the best support system anyone could ever ask for, Jesus Christ and the awesome people He has so lovingly placed in my life. I can confidently say that I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the trials of my diabetes. Of course it's a huge thorn in my side, but it also has given me wisdom, a sense of humor, and so many other qualities that I would lack if it wasn't for my pancreas calling it quits on me.When it seems like life is really painful and hard and I feel like no one understands what I'm going through, I find comfort in knowing that Christ knows exactly what it means so suffer (Facts about Death by Crucifixion) and He is holding me through it all. Next time you're in distress or you think you can't possibly take one more second of whatever is causing you pain, reach out to Him. He may not take the cross from you, but He will help you carry it, no matter what it is. I'm praying for you! Be His!

Here's to 10 years of diabetes! And plenty more to come!