An Open Letter to my Friends

My dear lovely friends,

The past few years haven't been the best for me. A lot of things went wrong and not many things went right, or at least that's what I had thought. I've been so focused on everything and everyone that has hurt me, I haven't paid much attention to the people who take the best care of me. I've been so angry and sad over my "terrible life" that I haven't taken the time to actually look at the people who love me and say thank you. So, this is for you, because it's about dang time that I thank you for being so amazing. 

After Mass the other day, I was reflecting on the past year and I found myself amazed that an entire 365 days have flown by. Exactly one year ago, I was broken because of an awful situation and I was convinced that I was dying because my health was absolutely out of control. I felt alone and ugly and broken and angry and pretty much every other negative adjective you can imagine. I was so sure that I was never getting out of that dark, ugly place and at that point, I didn't even care anymore. Lucky for me, God had different plans. Although my trials were difficult and down right excruciating, something beautiful was born.. irreplaceable friendships. Because of the dark place I was in a year ago, I was blind to the amazing people that the Lord had put on my path. Well, I'm not blind anymore, and I am overcome with a full and grateful heart now that I can see what has been with me this entire time... you. 

This year at Franciscan has been so incredibly fruitful for me, it makes me emotional to even think about it. Not only have I gotten to learn so much about the Lord and His Heart, but He went even further than that and gave me countless tangible signs of His Love for me.. including all of my amazing friends, in Steubenville and beyond. From my very first SENT team, to my wonderfully sassy roommate fall semester, to my beautiful household sisters, to the people I don't see very often (but when I do see them it's as if nothing has changed), to the crazy holy priests and youth minister in my life, to my warm fuzzy squirrels, to my homies having amazing adventures in Austria, to my hilarious and gorgeous loftmates, to my chips in a guac bowl, to the kiddos at Life Teen, to my other half (who lives 4 hours away, but ya know, we rock long distance)... To the Maker of the Universe who was so so gracious to bless me with all of you amazing people. I know that no one is perfect, but you all have loved and cared for me better than I ever could have asked for. You have been the hand to hold, the shoulder to cry on, and the ears that listen. You have been the laughter that makes my stomach hurt, the cuddle buddy when a good movie night is in order, the encouragement I need to be the woman God is calling me to be. You've given sound advice (even when I don't ask for it), you've prayed with me and for me, you've left me cheesy notes that I proudly decorate my desk with, you've been your realest selves and THAT is what I love the most. For the first time in my life, I feel secure in my friendships because you all have given me the gift of authenticity and because of that, I don't question your love for me. There is no hiding, no deceiving, no gossiping when no one is around... There is just authentic friendship, and wow, that is such a priceless gift. One of the most difficult things for me to do is love myself. I always see myself as less than what everyone else seems to be, as ugly, annoying, dumb... But not anymore. By the grace of God and by the gift of your authentic friendship, I'm finally learning to love myself. Sometimes it's hard for me to let people really love me, but you crazy kids won't take no for an answer. Despite my kicking and screaming, you manage to love me anyway and speak so much truth into my heart. When you say I'm beautiful, genuine, funny, smart, joyful.. I actually believe it. I hear not just my friend talking to me, but I hear the Lord speaking through you. Maybe that's cliche, but I am convinced that the friendships I share with each of you are some of the most amazing gifts that the Lord has given to me. 

Thank you for being yourself. Thank you for loving me so well. Thank you for walking me through this dark valley. Thank you for helping me to finally be myself. Thank you for allowing the Lord to work through you to drastically change my life. 

Needless to say, I love you a lot.

With all my love,

Courtney 

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; 

he that has found one has found a treasure.

There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend

and no scales can measure his excellence.

A faithful friend is an elixir of life;

and those who fear the Lord will find Him.

- Sirach 6:14-16