I think that it's safe to assume that life is difficult for everyone at one point or another. We all struggle with something: relationships, health, grades, finances, ect. Some have it worse than others, and some make it seem like they have no problems at all. But let's be realistic here, everyone has their issues.
Lately, the hardships in my life have been made more apparent to me. If I'm being honest, I've been very unhappy. For no reason whatsoever, the burden that I've been carrying has been especially heavy. I can't really place my finger on it, but life has just been really difficult. Waking up is a challenge, I'm struggling through classes, going to work is painful, I'm super self-conscious about my acne, doing my normal diabetes thing is virtually impossible.. There's really not much wrong at all, no tragedy or huge obstacle, but things aren't right either. Maybe you have no idea what I mean, but maybe you know exactly what I mean. In the darkest and most painful moments, a lot of what goes on in life appears to be too much to swallow and far too complicated to even bother trying to figure out.
We've all thought it before..
Why me?
What's the point?
Why does this hurt so much?
What did I do to deserve this?
Suffering is inevitable in this life, unfortunately. Suffering, whether it be mental or physical, hurts. And it can seem pointless.
But suffering also has the potential to be beautiful and fruitful.
Let me give you an example:
Believe it or not, at one time you were a tiny little baby inside of your mom. Kind of gross and weird to think about, but just bear with me. I don't know if you realize this, but in order to get you out and into this world, your mom had to suffer. She carried you around for 9 months, went through hours of labor, and I think you know what happens after that. Her suffering gave you life. You didn't even do anything to deserve that gift, but she did it anyway, because she loves you. And I think that if you were to call her up right now and ask her if that suffering was worth it, she would say yes.
Now is where you ask me, "Courtney, how in the world does this relate to the suffering I go through on a daily basis"...
Your suffering has the potential to bring about great things. Maybe you're not about to give birth to a tiny human any time soon, but whatever pain you've been feeling has hidden glory. Your suffering is teaching you how to be grateful, how to grow, how to love.
If anyone knows how to love, it's Jesus. Take the suffering your mom endured for love of you and multiply it by infinity.. that's how much He loves you. The Gospel of John explicitly reminds us that God became man literally just because He loves you (John 3:16). If the God of the Universe could see my awful sin and still choose to suffer and die on a cross because He loves me, then I think it's safe to say He can teach us all a few things about what it means to love. Often my prayer is "Lord, help me love like you do", thinking that He will just touch my heart with some magic fairy dust and make me a nicer person. But in God's infinite wisdom, instead of doing that, He allows me to suffer... Because that's how He loved us.
The betrayal of Judas? Jesus was loving you.
When His friends abandoned Him? Jesus was loving you.
Every bleeding wound on His sacred body? Jesus was loving you.
Getting spit on and stripped naked in front of a crowd? Jesus was loving you.
The nails in His hands and His feet? Jesus was loving you.
Through every single moment of Christ's unspeakable passion and death, you were on His infinite mind. He loved you through every moment of suffering, and because of that, you have been given a chance to live this beautiful life and a chance to live an eternal life with Him in Heaven.
Does this mean that my suffering can be offered up for something greater? Absolutely. The fact that Jesus willingly embraced suffering for love of YOU means that I have the opportunity to do the same thing. I'll never be able to love anyone as much as Christ does (because He's perfect and I am NOT), but that doesn't mean I won't stop trying. I want you to know that if you're reading this, I'm offering up the small sufferings of my day for you. It's not much, but Jesus makes miracles out of nothing every single day.
I get to suffer through having diabetes because one day, my experiences will help me give guidance to someone else. I get to struggle with depression because it helps me relate to people I will minister to. I get to wake up every day with acne all over my face because it reminds me to look past the surface. I get to do all these things I would have never chose for myself because they help me grow in holiness. This brokenness engulfs me in what it means to love like Christ, to love through the hurt.
Today, I invite you to accept suffering with joy. Know that you are carrying this cross for the good of you and for the good of those around you. Your pain has purpose and your hurt will be healed, because the Lord has great plans for you. You just need to embrace it.
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